Sleepless In Jakarta

Dear people I’ve hurt,

I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m not perfect. I’m sorry I cry easily over silly things. I’m sorry for not being strong enough to stand up for what I think is right and what I believe in. For telling lies about how I actually feel. For not being able to refuse what I don’t want to do. For letting things into my head and let them mess with my mind. For making people feel uneasy when they’re around me. For feeling uneasy when people are around me. For cheating on a test. For saying bad things to people, especially people I love. For being jealous of what people have but I don’t. For not satisfying my parents because I don’t get straight A’s and not being able in things non-academically. For having a disorder I inherited from my grandfather. For not being physically proportional. For making such a fuss about small things. For being jealous every time. For wanting more of what I can’t have. For buying things I actually don’t really need. For wasting food. For wasting time. For wasting money. For hating my mom when she cheers for me when I perform something. For turning my back on people who care about me when they need me. For asking people too much whether I bother them of not. For missing some of them too much. For wanting them to be always around me. For attracting too much attention. For not being an understanding person. For everything. Everything. Everything I can’t write here because there is just too much. I’m so sorry.